Sex, Lies & Parenthood
Sex, Lies & Parenthood

Episode 35 · 3 months ago

Special Edition With Drag Queen Entertainer Ginger Ladd Part 1

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Please consider watching the video version of Part 1 and 2 as the episode is very visual and we added items to the interview that support elements of his story: YouTube Part 1 

Welcome to “Sex, Lies & Parenthood!” This is a special Pride Month edition of the podcast featuring a 2-part interview with Drag Queen Entertainer Ginger Ladd! In Part 1 we watch Ginger Ladd begin the transformation into drag while getting very intimate with the details of his life. We talk about the trauma, the love, the pain, the loss, the backstabbing, ALL OF IT! We are so grateful that Ginger Ladd trusted us enough to tell stories he has never told publicly before.  

FOR MORE INFO OR TO BOOK GINGER LADD GO TO: 

Ginger Ladd Website 

**TRIGGER WARNING** Part 1 deals with extremely traumatic events that may trigger some people. Below is an outline with time codes if you need to flip through the episode because you may be upset by some of the content. 

PART 1 WITH DRAG QUEEN ENTERTAINER GINGER LADD

00:00 Intro with trigger warning for the episode

FYI: Ginger Ladd made a statement regarding Texas State Representative Bryan Slaton’s attack on drag shows and it has been added to part 2 of our interview.

01:11 Going live on Ginger Ladd’s social media while recording

01:48 Official intro

02:30 Ginger Ladd begins to get into drag make-up

03:00 Ginger Ladd’s lives and their impact “It’s like watching a friend get ready”

03:46 Drag Queens get a lot of hate and threats online

04:33 Ginger Ladd’s personalized videos on Cameo

05:30 Why Rachel ordered a video from Ginger Ladd

05:56 Ginger Ladd’s video to Rachel & Capricorn

08:14 What are Ginger Ladd’s Pronouns?

09:16 Reviewing the lesson in the video

12:24 “You can’t have a bad day” as a performer

16:06 How did Covid change Ginger Ladd’s life?

16:54 Closing the Tattoo Shop during Covid “Something that has hurt me so badly”

20:10 “My Dad had just died from Covid”

21:25 Adopting son Wesley during Covid

25:26 Message to the former staff of the tattoo shop who ransacked it

28:50 First live video “The Day My Dad Died"

30:44 Saying goodbye to Dad over the phone

32:22 Having to tell mom who has Alzheimer’s over and over again that Dad had died

35:20 How his parents found out he was gay

35:59 “Without warning they told me to leave”

38:00 Going to a conservative school “I’m not allowed to be my natural self”

38:48 Graphic photo of Ginger Ladd’s attack at school

40:28 Message to Christians (Stop kicking your kids out)

41:27 “One of my biggest failings” (pretending that everybody loves me)

42:17 “By the way straight guys…”

43:00 How did his dad get Covid?

00:47:13 Any fatherly advice from dad?

00:48:13 “My parents went a little crazy” (discusses childhood trauma of being isolated and rejected)

00:50:43 “This has been a hard life”

00:52:53 Taking a moment to mention show dates and websites

00:54:00 “Did Ginger save your life in a way?”

00:54:44 What saved me was social media

00:56:13 Trigger warning: Doing live performances on social media…”took me out of the head space of not wanting to do this anymore”

00:57:27 “The 2 people in your life that you thought would never disappoint you…they tell you they don’t want you anymore”

00:58:49 “The reason why this career suits me so much is because…”

01:00:30 Making all of his own wigs and clothing

01:01:23 “Maybe they will see all of the hard work and maybe then they will love me”

01:01:45 Doing live shows on social media during Covid

01:02:40 *Trigger Warning* Having issues with affection “your parents are hiding your bruises”

01:04:37 How he and his husband are raising their boys

01:05:55 “I think it burned a hole so deep into who I am…”

01:07:04 “Expressing myself the way I was wasn’t allowed…”

01:07:49 “This is who I am…”

01:08:53 “We’re bent, we’re not broken”

01:10:39 “Not only am I gay but my job…”

01:11:40 Connecting with other abused people

01:13:38 Forgiveness and moving his parents in with his family

01:17:15 Rescuing Luci the dog

01:19:15 Social post introducing Luci

01:20:09 Trying to get the love and acceptance from your parents

01:22:01 This interview is therapeutic for him

01:23:10 We sent him a new microphone which is large and phallic

01:23:47 Rachel appreciates Ginger Ladd

01:24:30 He chooses not to live in an exclusively gay neighborhood

01:26:31 “I love everybody…I’m just an entertainer, I’m here to make you feel good about yourself.”

01:27:50 “I’m not here to be your teacher.”

01:29:30 Where did the name Ginger Ladd come from?

01:34:12 He had never named her before - he was too ashamed of her

01:34:20 Time for a break

01:35:43 Signing off of Instagram and TikTok lives

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Ginger Ladd’s Third Annual Rockaway Pride, June 26th.

https://rockawaypride.eventbrite.com/

SOCIAL LINKS:

https://tiktok.com/@gingerladd

https://instagram.com/thegingerladd

https://YouTube.com/GingerLadd

https://facebook.com/GingerLaddOfficial

https://linkedin.com/in/gingerladd

https://twitter.com/realgingerladd

DEAR GINGER LADD PODCAST:

http://DearGingerLadd.com 

DRAG QUEENS AND KINGS ENTERTAINMENT:

https://linkedin.com/company/dqak

https://dragqueensandkings.com/

https://facebook.com/DragQueensAndKings

https://instagram.com/dragqueensandkings

Hey everyone, welcome to a very special episode of Sex, Eyes and parenthood, the pride month edition, with guest and entertainer Ginger Lad. We recorded this a few weeks before state representative of Texas, Brian Slayton, came out against kids at drag shows. Ginger did a follow up with us and does give us a statement about that situation in part two. So part one is really about his life and a lot of the trauma that he's gone through. So trigger warning to everybody out there who has been through traumatic experiences. That's gets a little deep and intense, so read the description and see if it's something that you can handle. We started this off with him getting ready, putting makeup on, as he does in his lives. To the very first part you'll see him going live on instagram and tick tock with us, which terrified us. I was like deer and headlights. Don't like being live. Not used to it yet. Enjoy part one, don't forget part two is with ginger lad herself. It is fun, a little spicy and a little spicy read. So check out part one, don't forget those part two and thank you all for joining. I want to explain what's happening here. I've got a phone here on ticktock. I've got a phone here on instagram. Going to be getting up of full drag makeup tonight and we're going to be filming a podcast called sex lies band parenthood. Stay tuned. We're about to go in depth and I told you I was going to spill some secrets tonight. That's not a joke. I'm very, very comfortable with these two and I'm afraid that I just might say something that I'll regret tomorrow. But you know what, you're here now. So this is their podcast. I'm their guest. Here we go. Three, two, one. Welcome to the PODCAST. Is All good. What's up called SEX LAS and parenthood? Hey, everybody, welcome to sex lies and parenthood. I'm produced the Rachel with my husband, Capricorn. Hello, and we have a special guest today, the Queen of the rockaways, the one the only, Ginger Lad. ME. Hello, everybody, my name is Ginger Lad, also known as Rockaways, queen of Queens. I'm a fulltime entertainer based in New York City. Shows a lot of different places and I represent a lot of different brands and it's a it's a pleasure to be with sex, lies and parenthood. How you doing tonight? I'm going to do you mind if I start getting ready? Start Getting Ready, I'd absolutely love that. Are you good? Can You? Do you think you can talk and get ready at the same time? I say that not that I haven't seen all of your life. I'll try. It'll be the first time I've ever done it, but sure. Now so you know me, because I do get ready online all the time before my shows and that's how I discovered you. You just popped up on Tick Tock one day and I absolutely loved the space that you provide for people. I don't know what you mean by the space. So when you go live, it's it's like talking to a friend or like watching a friend get ready, and a lot of times you just you don't overtalk it. You ask people how their day was. Right sometimes you're honest and you'll say you had a bad day. How is everybody else doing? And I have also seen you get very honest and serious with people that aren't having a good day. A Hi, Babes, how are you, because they're okay today, good and if you're not, I hope that this brings some kind of smile to your face just a little bit. Cathy just said that Ginger Ladd is your best friend, and that's that's one of the things that I try to try to do. I think that you would believe the amount of negative attention that that Queer entertainers, especially drag Queens, receive online. I would imagine that both of you would understand that, but I don't think that you would understand the the quantity, the amount. And because we're on tick tock, I don't want to go and teary triggering words, but you know, people wishing you the worst, wishing that you would finish things and and you get those messages on a daily basis and you have to decide whether or not you want to go on. And so what I try to do when I go live as I try to like give you something that I don't get, or maybe even what I didn't get when I was growing up. Well, and that is what prompted me to get a cameo from you. I don't know if everybody knows, but you do cameos and your cameos are, number one, incredible. You give one hundred percent of yourself. Are they improv are they scripted. A lot of people don't even know what a cameo is. So a cameo as a personalized video that has made just for you from someone that you may know from popular culture. It could be an athlete, it could be a movie star, could be someone from your favorite television show, could be someone from P politics, it could be something from a reality show.

I was accepted. I don't think I ever told you this. I applied to cameo thirteen times. It took me thirteen times. I kept track. Ironically, I've had such could success that they've actually elevated me to having special privileges on the platform and I love making these these specialized videos for people. It brings me out of myself and my bad day to make somebody else feel good about themselves. So I was feeling very bad about myself. I was having horrible anxiety about season two of our podcasts, getting it started. We were revamping this podcast studio and whatever prompted me, I was like, I need a message from Ginger last I don't know. I just needed something personal to kind of be that kick in the butt. And do you remember the advice you gave me? I'll play it. I'll I'll roll it into the podcast. You haven't put out a season two yet, and that's when I'm here to help you with. Listen, honey, I'll kid decide. I get it. Life gets in the way, doesn't it? It's in a way, but I just recently learned something. It's kind of fabulous. It's whole concept of scheduling your life using the metaphor of stones, pebbles and sand. Stones are those big things that you can't do without. You got it. Got To do those, you must and must and must right and then and then those big rocks this have to be there. So you put them into your life first, and then you take the stones or the pebbles and then they fill up around the rocks and then all the other minutia that we have going on. It's the sand that fills the cracks. So my question to you is, how important is your podcast? Is it a big rock, is it a pebble to your life, or is it the sand? I think that's going to help you a lot in determining the future of one of my favorite podcasts. I'm ever, that's right. Is Get important? Can you incorporate it into your life and can you actually keep to that schedule doesn't honey, I get it, I get that life is tough and I get that life is overwhelming, but make the determination of what it is that you want to create with this us. I do remember what we what I spoke about. Ironically, I've never told you this. I'd only learned this concept maybe about a week before. Really see perfect timing. It was meant to learn the message for us because I didn't apply it to myself. I think a lot of people are going through this. I mean impostor syndrome like crazy, making my clients jobs more important than our jobs. Making the podcast is something we love to do. For some reason we couldn't get over that Hump, and no one likes a hump more than capricorn. But I can share this with you for sure. So base and because capricorn and I just like we go way back a long, long time. And if from anyone likes to hunted him, and let me just ask to pronouns. I'm assuming, I don't assume it's it's she, her and he him for both of you. Yes, and that was the one of the questions I wanted to ask you as what are your pronouns? I I am definitely he him out of drag and I am she her in drag. But if you, if you want to, if it's a big deal for you to try to like make me angry by calling me one thing or another, it's not going to work. I don't care, and that is because I'm not a member of the Trans Community. I am a theater actor. I am a queer entertainer who performs in a female guys and if I'm going to do all this work for you, beautiful if I want to do all this work for you, it would behoove you to call ginger, because I am ginger lad. It would behoove you to refer to me as as feminine. So, yeah, the concept that you were talking about, I had only just heard about. It was actually because of my beautiful husband, the Mr Lad. He was actually listening to somebody much smarter than US and was talking about the concept of rocks, pebbles and sand, and the way that it was explained to me is that the rocks in your life are those things that you cannot that you have to do. All right, we've got to pay bills, we've got to do certain things in our life. You literally have to get up in the morning and you've got to go to bed at night. Those are things that you have to do. You've got to pay your bills if you want to remain in your home. These are the rocks, these are the major things in your life that you cannot make an exception for, and then we'll always be there. So you filled the vessel of your life with these...

...rocks. All right. So picture large rocks in a big vase. Right, you've got them in there, but there's space in between each one of them, and those are the pebbles. So the pebbles that go in these are also important and they're going to fit around the big things in your life. The important things are the mandatory things in our lives that you cannot get away from, that you have to do in order to maintain status. Quote. These are not the extra things, these are not the hiking or camping trips, these are the little things that are keeping you alive. Right, so your day job, your whatever it is that you do, that would be a rock. Right. Getting to the kids to school, that's a rock. That's an absolute that has to have. Feeding your family, that's a rock. So pebbles are the extra things that are important to you and I think that you're saying to me that you've kind of classified your podcast as one of the pebbles versus one of the rocks. Right. That's where I wanted the shift to be. I wanted it to be more important in our lives and not just something we keep talking about because you were considering it in this whole analogy as one of the particles of sand. The sand fills in the rest of the spaces and sand are things like watching netflixs and are things like taking walks and things like that. Exercise might be a pebble, it might be a rock. It's really what is important to you in your in your life, and once you get get that idea, and once I get that idea in my head, I'll let you know. But I've said I am at this point in my career. I am incredibly overwhelmed with everything that's going on in my life. I'm so overwhelmed and there's so much happening in my life that's new that it is very difficult for me to determine what the important things are. What are the rocks? What are the polls somewhere of this sand, because they all seem important but then what I have to do is look at it with the focus of business. I'm an artist, I'm an entertainer, but I'm also a parent and a mortgage I have to pay a mortgage, and so I have to tilt my art in a direction that satisfies both of those. As an artist and actor and an entertainer, you really can't get sick, you can't have a bad day it. has there ever been a time where you're like, I got to cancel the show? Where have you never canceled? I'll admit to you that I've performed. I've performed with a fever before. I've performed throwing up the day of. Wow, sometimes you just do what you gotta do. So sometimes you just got to muscle through and see. Capricorn knows this. You know just because, just because you are feeling a little funny. And I'm not talking about having Covid I'm not talking about being so sick that you're going to get somebody else sick, but being being in a position of having an obligation and if you were too, if you were to cancel, there would be repercussions that would be so negative to your career and so oftentimes you hear about actors who have a limited tell you some examples. I remember a few, a couple of times when I had broken toes. I broke my toe the night before I had a multi show day the next and so I took that toe and I taped it to the next one. I took some some tie on on, I tucked it in and then I did the thing and then I came home and yeah, I definitely, I definitely felt it. But you know what, my clients didn't know, the guests did not know. I did. Never, I never spoke about it, but then I kind of had a convalesce a little bit afterwards. But yeah, I've broken toes. I I I broke my pinky right before my last show, my last show that I produced at the the rockaway hotel. So my pinky was completely broken and I had to show the next day. That's crazy. What are you going to do? Cancel the show because your fingers broken? No, tape it up, take it up. I can't even wear heels without a broken toe. So I don't know how you did that. You can, you can. The reason why I can, I always tell people the reason why I can. I can walk in heels because I was very late bloomer. I was probably about five six until I was about fifteen, sixteen years old, and I'm not really tall as a man either, but I was really, really petite and I always wanted to be taller. So I always found myself walking on my tiptoes quite a bit to try to appear like I was taller. And so I always tell people that I was practicing being a drag queen from from the from like about thirteen on, until one day one of my parents said, wait, why are you walking on your hiptoes around the house like...

I had learned to just do it everywhere. So at that point I had the foot of to be able to handle, to be able to handle shoot like that, you know, like my God. And I could see, I could see the lust on Capricorn's face right now, and you're welcome. Hey, likes the red waters to that right. You like the Red Heels? Yes, the right, you gotta. I think. I think Capricorn, actually, capricorn actually would probably like it better if I wore these for him. Right. So we've got that full patent leather. We got that thigh high kind of situation going back side all right, because I get I'm starting to get a feeling. I'm starting to get a read on Capricorn. Capricorn wants someone to take control. Capricorn just wants to be like don't, don't, but then do everything. So, anyways, I don't know you and we're on. Tick Tock, hi, Tick Tock. How you doing? My name is ginger. Lads, just talking about fun things. We're going biking. Someone asked me how do I not have Bunyan's? I don't know what a Bunyon is and I refuse to answer the question. Thank you, okay, got you. How did Covid Change Your Life? Didn't COVID CHANGE US all? I mean like, isn't Covid a world war? Now, isn't that this collective generations world war? You know, every single person that came out of World War One or World War Two and then went to a depression all had this commonality to themselves. If they weren't completely rich, they all had to they all had to a APP to something that they didn't expect to happen. Everyone had changes in the life and I don't want to make my story sound as if it was different for anyone, because there are hundreds of thousands of people who went through the same experience that I did. But of course she covid changed everything. Well, you went from live shows to know live shows. was that how are you were making a living, or did you still have the tattoo shop at the time? To people know you had a tattoo shop? Yeah, I mean I talk about my tattoo shop. So I own Tattoo shop for ten years in Brooklyn. It was a top five tattoo shop and all of New York. I don't know if you know this, but there are over seven hundred tattoo shops in New York City proper alone. We were always considered in the top five by the people who care about that kind of thing. I really didn't care about that and made sure to take care of my clients, make sure to take care of my customers. They had bespoke experience and my tattoo artists were all trained by me, every single one of them. All of my tattoo artists had been my previous apprentices. So I brought them into the Tattoo world because I wanted to make sure that they had a certain esthetic, a certain professionalism to what they were doing. A lot of times artists have the misconception that by being an artist that means that they can be a rebel, that they don't have to follow rules. I'm sorry to say every single artist, every single commercial artist, has to follow certain boundaries. needs to understand customer service, needs to understand being on time, and it's very, very rare to find that, not only in the tattoo world, but it's also in in the current profession that I'm that I'm in. But yeah, so I was, I was tattooing and we were hearing reports of this and I remember the meeting I had to sit down meeting with all my artists and I said, okay, I think what we're going to do for just safety sake, just safety sake, let's just close down for the rest of the month. I think it was about too two weeks. Let's see where it goes. And I never opened my tattoo shop again. I was working with these artists. I told you all, I was going to tell you something that I've never told you before and something that has hurt me so badly. So I had you know I had video cameras inside of my my tattoo shop, and I got out notification three weeks into a like the official close down here in New York City of Covid my my lead artist, who I had keys and access to the shop, had brought the entire group of artists, all of them that I had, that I had taught, and they came in and they rated my shop. Oh my God, they took things off the wall, they took their things, of course, and I watched everything from my bedroom. I gotten alert, of course, and they were in their laughing, high fiving and talking about what they were going to do. Yeah, I've got clients lined up who are going to come over to my house. He can't close us down like this. COVID's not real. And my dad had just died...

...from covid off just a couple blows back to back. Geez. So how did you find your way through that, or have you no capricorner? I have found my way through it. Yet. I watched on those I watched in the cameras and I found myself not being able to watch it anymore. I watched about ten minutes. It's all recorded. I have all of it. Definitely have the receipts for it, and I thought about getting into my car but at that time I was sequestered in my house because I had just been exposed to covid and remember that time when we didn't know if it was going to to kill us or to to turn us into a Zombie or whatever. Well, my husband was sequestered downstairs. He had had a lot of exposure to my father and my son, my son Wesley, who is now nineteen years old and we're very, very proud of who is a freshman in college here in New York City. We adopted from the foster care system and within the foster care system there's a lot of rules, and including these rules of like being able to bring them home for a day but not overnight, being able to do this, but not that. Well, he was home for the weekend. By that point we had we had been granted overnight weekend privileges with our son that we are going to adopt. And basically it is put in place to make sure that you're not a complete degenerate and you're not going to be there hurting them. I mean, these poor kids literally come back and they are searched to see if they've been bruised or hurt or anything like that. Right he was home on a Sunday and it was my turn to drive them back an hour and a half to the group. See, I think that people would understand it best if I just use the word orphanage. That's not the word that's used anymore, but if I just say orphaned, you'll understand a little bit more. So I was due to take them back to the orphanage that that evening when we got a text from it was either the governor or the mayor of New York and it said, hey, everybody, so you guys know about covid right, we're going to take a precaution and close schools for two days. This is Sunday night and I'm thinking I don't want to do the drive either. Here was an hour and a half there, an hour and a half back, and I was like all right. So I then made emergency calls to the powers that be and it said there's no reason for me to return him. Will Return Him on Wednesdays. Will even bring him to school if that's okay with you. Would you like to do a video conference right now? And they said no, there's a lot more going down that you don't understand. Keep Wesley for now. Wesley wasn't due to be our son permanently, and then all of a sudden he never went back to the orphanage. We had emergency sort of court hearings that were all zoom. Remember when we didn't understand zoom. Remember that. Remember when we we weren't, we weren't doing that. I was like, how do you do it? What's Zoom? And so we had all these emergency sort of first time things for the for a lot of people, especially for the adoption agency for the orphanage, and we were we lucked out. He his psychologist with such an amazing, smart, fascinating person, and new our intent and our love. They signed an emergency order saying that that Wesley should be with us and it would be in his best interest to be with us during this period of time. So they filed this with this system and the court, which allowed us to keep him from that moment on. And I no longer had the tattoo shop. I was now homeschooling him with my husband. My Dad died, my tattoo shop was ransacked by the the people that I brought up into the industry, and everything changed and I found myself wow. See, I thought I was all through this. I thought I was. I thought it was all. I thought I was all through this, but I think what's really killing me right now is talking about the the people that I brought up into the industry, coming through to grab their stuff...

...so that they can make a couple of bucks during the time of when covid spike so hard in New York that every single hospital was overcapacity and all they could think about was, well, they'll just take the client tell that I had advertised for it brought in and try to bring them to their houses so that they can make a couple of bucks. And I got to say, Hey, guys, I haven't talked to you since but I I'm going to. I'm going to send this to you because you need to see this, and a couple of you have opened your own little shops. I have thought so bad about coming by, I've thought so bad about telling you this story. I've thought so badly about sharing your name with the rest of the world. I don't want you to lose your jobs, I don't want you to lose your your way of life, but what you did really really affected me. There was this this three, four, eight things happening all at once and Capricorn asked me. How did you deal with it? Or did you deal with it? I turned to the one thing that was bringing me, besides my husband and my new son, that would bring me some kind of satisfaction and joy, which was my then part time drag career. So you didn't fresh charges against the people that you trained at the Tattoo Shop. That pretty much robbed you. You don't want to call the cops on them. I didn't know. First off, I didn't know how much was taken. Dad had just died. I was I was a mess. I was a mess. Look within like weeks, three weeks. Wesley is now staying with US permanently as my son. Dad then dies. Tattoo shop ransacks, homeschooling, not tattooing, no entertainment. I didn't care. I didn't. I didn't care about the things I do, I could have given. I didn't care about the things. You never called the police on them. Someone just asked me. I Tick Tock No, and I don't plan on it. I have all the footage. I have them high fighting each other, saying that they've gotten clients lined up and everything. And guys, just know that. You got to know that those can't they did know that the cameras were there and I have no plans on doing that kind of kind of stuff. But I was in such denial, but I continue to pay rent and pretend like I was going to go back to that industry for an entire year. Oh my God, wow, wow. Well, I didn't know. You know, like, do you remember? I remember having conversations with some of my some of my sisters, meaning other Queens, saying, you know what, I'll see in a couple months? Well, let's let's plan something for summer. It'll be done by then, right. That's what we were told. This was nothing, that's not a big deal. That's what we were told by the then administration. We were told that this was not going to be part of our lives forever. And so I said, you know what what I'll do is I'll contact my clientele, we're going to sign some contracts for pride and we're going. Okay. So that didn't happen. So how about we plan for the end of okay, so the end of summer? No. Maybe we'll do new year. No. And so, because I was in such pain and the only thing that was bringing me a lot of joy as a creator. I had never ever gone live before online and there's only one video in this category. I think it's called the day my dad died, and that was, I think, the very first time that I went live. My Dad died of Covid nineteen yesterday. My husband and I moved my parents here when we had this house built out as a too family and they lived downstairs and we lived upstairs. My Dad had a heart attack two weeks ago and was sent to the hospital. He came home for three days and he collapsed about three days ago. We called MS and they took him to the hospital and he died yesterday, a thirty or problem that we're in is this my mom was exposed to him for three days, so she's in quarantine and then, of course, my husband and I went over to the house to help him when he collapsed and my husband was there much longer than I was, and so he's been self quarantined in our house, but just in a bedroom bathroom, since Monday, and then I'm upstairs with our...

...son. This is one of the hardest times I've ever been in. I'm feeling incredibly alone. I'm scared. I'm scared for my mom I'm scared for my husband, I'm scared for us and I'm grieving and I don't have anybody to talk to. Won't you stay safe. I love you, guys. I went live and I was by myself upstairs. My my new son was in his bedroom. My husband had been downstairs. The doctor called from my dad's bedside and they wouldn't let me come and they she told me that it was that it was time for me to say goodbye. He was there but he wouldn't be able to talk and he would hear me. So I sat on the stairs outside of the bedroom. Door was closed in my my husband. I could see the shadow of his feet underneath the door and I and I told my dad. I told my dad how much I loved him and I forgave him because he had asked for forgiveness from me a few times before he died. And I tell him I'll take care of I'll take care of will take care of everything, and and then the doctor game on it said that he died. And and I rocked back and forth the stairs and I moaned and I cried and I thought about just bursting into the bedroom so that I could feel the loving arms of my my husband. My husband and I've been together for sixteen years and he is the best person that I know and I was craving to be around him and it was a surprise. Dad died so quick, if you even if that he died at all. So and then, and then I had to tell my mom, and my mom has astheimer's, and so I had to tell her about fourteen or fifteen times over the course of about two weeks, and every single time she would scream and cry and hit and go out into the street for like I to to like so many times, like I had to tell her dad died, like so many times, and I had to live it all over again. So I got to tell you, guys, did I deal with it? That was one of the worst times of trauma in my entire life. So No, I didn't deal with it. I dealt with everybody else. I took care of Wesley, I took care of her. I did not take care of myself. I poured myself into the one thing that would take me away from all of it, which was this. And there were times when I was getting up into it where I would hear my mom. We moved at my mom and dad in with us about eight years ago and I could I would get calls from my neighbors say my mother was out in the street looking for my dad, and I'm not trying to elicit sympathy. It was just an...

...awful thing. It was one of the worst things that's ever happened and it took like two or three months for her to like really realize it. Um, it was this. It punched me every single time. I had to do a lot of forgiveness with my family. Right my folks kicked me out. My folks kick me out when I when I well, they dragged me at the closet. I didn't really choose to. So you didn't come out to them. No, my dad found a love letter that I had written to a boy and a neighboring town that I had met and I said things like how beautiful he was and and they had gone through my things and found his love letter back saying he thought the same thing about me, and so, without warning, they told me to leave. I was, I think, my great point average. I just be like will honest, I think was three point eight six. Spoke Two languages, played the violin. I was in every single suite and caring and gentle after school program that there is. I was in drama choir, played the Violin, I volunteered and it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered is that I was gay and that they did not want me around my younger brother. And so, out of a craving to meet people of my community, I had gone to one lgbt at the time, they didn't include the rest of the alphabet that but an lgbtqia plus meeting at a local college and I had met a couple of guys there and so I called them and I said, can I please come over and they let me, excuse me, live on their couch. I got a night job. I went to school. Do you know what I did for my night job? Well, you'll it's actually pretty interesting. Remember the seconds network? Yes, Uh Huh. So they were based in one of their call centers was based in the town that I lived. And so I did that, and this is well before like having smartphones and stuff like that. They had to kind of teach you how to do the script and how to do this and everything. I did that at night. I went to school and then I found a way. I found a school that gave me a full right scholarship based on my my academics, and I took a greyhound bus, site unseen, to one of the most, unbeknownst to me, conservative schools in all of the United States. I did not know, I did not know my that the person getting me there certainly did not tell me that church was mandatory on Sunday. So then again, I'm finding myself in a place where I'm having to keep all this in. I'm not allowed to be my natural self. By the time I became a junior, I said, to hell with it, came out and I'll send you pictures. Maybe want to pop it up here Ding. I actually the pictures of when I was brutally attacked at my school and sent to the hospital. I pop my nose out of my socket, broke my eye, broke my eyeglasses into my eye and sent me to the hospital. The school that I went to offered me full Ai's if I would just go home so no one could see me, and I said I already have. I already have all a's. I'm no, thank you, but wouldn't you like know? So I walked around black and blue. I wanted to people. I wanted people to see. I wanted these people who call themselves Christians to see what one of them did. Now I know that all Christians aren't that way. I do consider myself a Christ follower of myself. I have a relationship with God ten us at best. It's a thin cord. It still exists, but it is there.

I do feel him in my life at times. But for most of us, I would have to say in in the queer community, it's treated like an elite club that we're not really allowed to be a part of that. Somehow we're to degenerate to be part of Christianity. And what I have to say to most Christians out there do a better job. Stop killing your kids, because that's what this does. This, this leads a lot of kids to suicide, self harm and otherwise, stop kicking your kids out of out of their houses. Stop Stop Making your love merit based and within my family, parenthood. That doesn't exist. And bring it back to the podcast. Hi, circling back. You're watching sex, lies and parenthood. Shoot, take a breather, my harder now. My heart hurt so much for you. Oh, that's that's that's not all there's, but there's more. There's more. You know, I spent the next like decade trying still to get them back, to get your parents back, to get friends in your life back. One of my biggest failings. I still deal with it now. I'm I'm proud to admit that at least I know of it, if I don't know how to deal with it. One of my biggest failings is that I tend to make up extreme fantasies of what I would like things to be like. I like walking into a room and pretending that everybody loves me. It makes my job easier because I then don't have to get into the minutia of that poor straight guy I who thinks that I'm sort of degenerate and his wife has dragged him to a drag brunch or something like that. The disdain in your eyes is enough for me to know that you'd rather be anywhere than around me, or you think that I'm somehow wanting you. By the way, straight guys, I got to tell you. We May, we may play with you a little bit, but we're not really looking to take you home. All right, we're looking to change your mind and at least bring you into an area of acceptance, but I don't need to be tolerated. Just to let you know. If that's where you want to be with it, then you can keep it. I'm not looking for to be tolerated, I'm looking to just to be treated like a fellow human being. We are here for an incredibly short period of time. My father was basically a shut in. He didn't even go to the grocery store. My husband did that in the reason why my father was exposed, when I didn't mention to you, is that about two, three o'clock in the morning we got a screaming call for my mom downstairs. Dad was having a heart attack. Now he was having some kind of heart issues. This is the apex. This is the time when you couldn't get into the hospitals. Hospital has been closed to everybody except for people who were dire sick, and we had a life or death conversation with the emts and the emts were like, so, this is happening, but I don't know if you should go. Oh my God, we're not sure. We're not, because it is literally lined with people not wearing masks at the time. Remember, you don't need a mask. It's okay and whatever lined with people. Dad went, he was seen. All I could say is that he didn't have it before any when he came back from the hospital he had it. And one of the things that I keep on thinking about that I'm almost through with. who was the person who killed my dad? Well, can I offer some advice? It was just his time. I know it's hard to hear, but it was his time and he's definitely happy to see that your face is out to the world right now. HMM, I don't know if that's true. Capricorn, that doesn't serve Me, and this is me disagreeing with you and still loving you, but that doesn't serve me. You know, I lost a lot of people. I lost my brother when I was thirteen and I remember the all the the BS that my aunts and uncles were telling me. He's in heaven, he's in a better place, he's in no pain. You know what, I don't care. He's not here. And so I was at such a...

...desperate, selfish time in my life. You know that, frankly, I did not want him to be gone. And it doesn't serve me because my father had finally just started to come around and tell me how wonderful I was asked me personally for forgiveness two or three times for kicking me out of the House. Had finally come to terms with with who I actually was and I was starting to velop a relationship with my father, and I appreciate what you're saying. Was it his time? I don't think so. I think that my father could have taken better care of himself. I do think that he was sort of in charge of his health and so it can't be completely blamed anyone that he was having a heart attack, whether or not it was genetic or is because of a terrible diet, or that my father loved to sneak sweets and eat them quietly upstairs in the den and had a stash after he died of candy and cookies that I found up upstairs, hidden the way in a corner of the room that my dad so you know, my dad was a participant in his own health, for sure, and I'm not coming, I'm definitely not coming for you. It's just that that whole thing of maybe it was his time. Well, I guess I understand where you're coming from. I would understand more, though, if it was because it was just old and fell asleep one night, cozy and comfy, and never woke up again. But my dad had a heart attack, went to a health institution and, by going to the hospital, contracted something that killed him. Whether or not it was in the ambulance, whether or not it was at the hospital, most likely, I don't know. You know what, wearing these earbuds, I cannot do my ears. So please remind me the the biggest fo Pie could possibly do is not paint my hands and not paint these big, ginger red ears, by the way. So well, they be covered by the WIG. They might be, they might be, but Um, even if they even if they aren't, I'll know that they're red and I won't like that. Ha Ha, you go, you're very particular. Well, I've got two follow up questions. Did Dad know you were becoming a father, and did he give you any fatherly advice? Yes, not. He did meet our first son, albeit briefly. I oftentimes tell people of this, about what both my husband and I learned from our respective upbrings. I don't think my dad ever sat me down and said make sure to be this way, because I don't think that he ever expected me be a father. The good thing about the lad family is that my husband grew up in a beautiful Irish Catholic family filled with noise and love. My husband is the youngest of six siblings and they were relentlessly teasing each other and yet loved each other immensely. Had An amazing matriarch of his family, his mother, who I never had the pleasure to meet, and had one of those upbringings that that I saw in movies. I didn't have. That a fact when my little brother died. When my little brother died, I was about twelve thirteen years old. Within that year my brother, my mom's parents and my and my great aunt all died. It was a matter of about nine months, and I'm trying to measure whether I say this this way. My parents were a little crazy it. So we moved from where we were living to a remote place, seven miles from anybody, and they proceeded to keep me in the house, excluding school, and they would oftentimes forced me to stay in my bedrooms for certain lengths of time. I wouldn't let me out because they were scared for your safety. I try really hard as an adult to never make assumptions and this is certainly not a question I've ever asked them, so I can't answer your question. The only thing I could make an assumption about based on their behavior is that they had just lost so many people in their lives and somehow mentally they thought, by keeping me locked away, that maybe I wouldn't die. Then my parents had another son and he became he became the last, their last chance. They had already they had already done what they had done to me. You ever see that when you were little in school? Did they? Did you ever see the psychological it was a movie...

...about they had separated this dear little monkey away from its mother right and and they gave it a sarrogate. It was a stuffed animal and they they didn't get it any touch and they didn't give it any affection natural mothering. They put a they had put the milk on the stuffed animal and the little baby monkey grew up just loving the stuffed animal and then later on couldn't even be touched by people because he didn't know what it meant. This has been hard life. This has been this has been a hard life and and sometimes I have people in my life that the wonder why I have problems, why I have problems, maybe accepting love. Well, I'm that little monkey sometimes because and I had, I'm having I'm having to learn how, I'm having to learn how to I'm having to learn how to trust people and to and I think, unfortunately, I get better at it every year. But now this is not the time. This is not the time to cry, because we're doing just guys are coming up right, we're going to we're going to talk about Disney in a second or something. All right, I want to eventually get into where ginger came from, from this isolation, from this lack of affection? Where did she come from? Our so much more rejection than that. You know, I've got a extensive family in Texas. You know, it was such, it was such an honor. Let's just repeat this. It is one of the biggest professional honors I've ever had to be invited by hard rock cafe in New York to have a one person show that they they knew who I was, they knew that I'm this little monkey who wants to make everybody happy and that I would do anything to make sure that I treated their, their clientele, with honor, respect, with their ethos, and it is what I do with all my shows. By the way, if you'd like a show, contact drag queens and Kingscom. I gotta do it. Don't don't make me pay for addit. Pace space, please. No, no, but your plug your website to really quickly. There's so much at Ginger ladcom that you'll just be there for days. You can. You can book a Queen, of course, but you can also, just you can. You could book a cameo, a personalized video just for you. You can find out my next show dates throughout June. We're encroaching upon eighteen bookings upcoming in in June itself. There's a lot there. You can read press about me as well. If you like to find more about me, there's there's tons of stuff. Get yourself some submerge whatever you want. You could find it at Ginger ladcom. That's Ginger Lad laddcom. So there you go. Well, can I ask you a question then? No, that's not why I'm here for. No, it's a podcast interview system. No, well, you promise me no questions. So ha ha ha. I know, I know it's hard to pause. Did Ginger Save Your Life in a way? No, I can't say that's that simple. I mean, I'm surrounded with tons of good people, aren't I? You know, when my dad died, we were talking about going live and everything and I had never done that before and I remember sitting up at the dining room table. My son was in another room, no fault of his own, but my Lord, we barely knew each other. I think he was hating me at the time because I was now being his teacher. I didn't know what the Hell I was doing. So he's in another room reading something that I've assigned to him. My Dad has died, my my can't even hug my husband, and so I turned to my phone and I said, well, I'm just going to go life and talk to the world. You know what saved me? I would have to say with social media. I know there's so much said about social media and how can trite and how fake and everything is, and of course it is in a lot of ways. Most people do...

...not want you to see their their worst. They want to pretend that everything is good, that everything is wonderful. But the very first time I went on a live I think it was to talk about my desperation and my sorrow and how alone I felt in in my current circumstances, and so I think, I think for the fact that instagram live existed. Do you know I had? I had people from roupulse drag race call me or contact me and told me, you're not alone, but I don't know you, but I was just told about you. If you need something, call me, and so I have stayed in touch with some of those, those queens that you may know from repulse drag race that reached out to me during that period of time. And so I'd say it was social media more than than ginger, being able to be a part of an online community, having a, albeit completely online, plan show trigger warning took me out of the head space of not wanting to do this anymore, not drag just it. And it has been. It has been. It has been a good life. I've had so many wonderful things come into my life, but as that as that monkey, when you're denied so many things, you're left later on not knowing how to do so much that so many other people just take for granted, and so it's just it leaves you in such a bizarre space of of wanting people around you and yet not being able to cling to a human being, because the two people in your life that you thought would never ever disappoint you. Hey tell you, I tell you that they don't want you anymore. So then you try to double major. Maybe they'll love me if I double major. Maybe maybe they'll love me if I become an executive in a legacy company and stay with them for thirty five years and get a gold watch, because that's what my dad told me I should do. And you find yourself not being authentic and it kills you and you're so desperate. You're that I'm monkey who just wants to be touched, and so you reach out to your family in Texas and they don't want anything to do with you, and it's just been it has left me in such a strange place. The reason why this career suits me so much is because of that upbringing. What you see me do online or if you see me at a show, I give a high energy show, making sure that everyone in the room feels love. That's a good hour and a half to two hours. Make sure I get your tickets at Ginger of head. Cough, I just search of that bright for Ginger Lad I do that high energy. I do that. Please love me, mom and Dad. I give them. I give everything and then I retreat into here and I sew and I make my my hair, I create videos, run of shows, I do my nails, and all those are singularly solitary events. I'm back in my locked bedroom, a fourteen year old boy, listening to my Bruce springsteen records. That's so. That's how it suits...

...me, because if you're going to do a profession like this and you've yet to truly hit to where you're making the type of money that you can afford to have every single piece, your garments, your hair, everything made for you, well, you need to do it yourself. And I have too much pride too to hopefully wear the same thing twice within a six month period. So then that means I'm making more hair, more clothing. I'm being stupid. I'm staying up at you know, I'm staying up at until midnight, turning what look like worse shoes and and just like stoning shoes myself, because because when you're when you're a big boy like me, they don't make the cute shoes for you, so you got to make the cute shoes for yourself and your handstoning everything and your back in your room and you're just maybe when they open the door for me, they'll see all the hard work and maybe then they'll love me and maybe then, maybe then they'll left me. Maybe then, do you see? I'm doing extra, I'm trying my hardest. I'm dead. I spent a year dancing in my attic. I did a hundred and fifty shows. You know, there were times I did two or three hour shows and the total viewership was for people. There would be like four or five people that would watch it. And you know what, you just do it because maybe you'll make a connection in those four or five people, maybe you'll meet somebody. But then you're unequipped because then when you do meet people that do want to pet the monkey, you, you don't know how to react. When you get petted your your you don't trust the hand because usually the hand has actually turned into a fist as you've grown up and your parents are hiding your your bruises and or you're kept home from school because it's too obvious. And so if anybody watches this that that loves me or knows me and I sometimes just back away too much, I'm really sorry. I just don't know how to to dess. I don't know how to discern if somebody is is real. And it's not that I'm naive or stupid, it's just that I didn't grow up with the same sensibilities that you did. You, maybe you grew up in a family that, despite everything you did, you were still part of the family. And I was speaking earlier the great difference that, I think then my husband and I have. You know, he grew up in a gorgeous Irish Catholic family full of love and teasing and joy. And my husband, he knows what family is supposed to be. He has he had it, he has it. They're good people, they're they're loving people. And then and I didn't. I didn't have it and I know I know what not to do, and so my husband and I have made a concerted effort to make sure that our boys known that, no matter what they do, there's nothing that they could do that would ever take away anything. In a fact, we don't. We don't punish by taking away things. There's a different approach that we take as parents. I will tell you, though, as incredibly smart and talented and wonderful as...

...my husband is, as most people are, really you will never understand what it's like being that monkey. You won't. You won't understand it. You won't hear the voices. I don't mean that I've got literal voices, I mean that you don't hear the past echoing in you. And and you grew up a certain way and you say to me, well, well, shouldn't you be over it by now? And Yeah, I should be, but it, I think it burned a whole so deep into who I am. It imprinted itself so hard. I think it's like someone who has what is what is the what is the thing? Where someone a dyslexic right so you can't see that someone's dyslexic. They will tell you they're dyslexic and they have to learn a way to read that looks like the way that we read. And I'm not dyslexic, so I'm not speaking from experience, but I think it's kind of like that. I think it's that you don't know what other people have been through. You can't see it and I can't explain what it's like being being this way, but I hope that you'll trust me that I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best to start vibrating on the same frequency with people and I and I think I was never allowed to be honest as a kid. Expressing myself the way I was wasn't allowed and would certainly involve a smack or another visit to my bedroom for twenty four hours or more. So I think maybe the difference that you and I were talking about what makes me different. Online I'm just a hungry little monkey who wants to be so desperately petted and is so desperate to be loved for who I am. This is me with duct tape on my head and everything, the TEDDA. That's this is this is who I am, and maybe people will just could, maybe, just take a chance on just loving me. Just love me, because when I enter a room a show, I oftentimes turned to my husband and I say, remind me, why am I here, and my husband, in a certain way, says you're there to make sure that everyone knows that you love them. Let them know, because you may not have gotten it, but you know how desperate you are for it. And there are many people in this world who feel the exact same way that I do. I've met a few of them who've had really traumatic experiences as kids, whether or not they're victims of sexual abuse or or physical abuse or abandonment. They know, they know what I'm talking about. We're bent, we're not broken. We're sensitive souls who just, I think, for the rest of our adult lives, are just lucky for people to love us. That's all. That's all we are. There's some things that I do understand where you're coming from, let's just put it that way, just just not the depth that you went through. I do have a loving family. We're not normal by any means, but you know, I've had I've had my trauma and I I would hate to say I understand your feeling, because I don't know, but certain things that you have talked about definitely hit like last year I had a plethora of people that are very, very close to me die. I lost my brother, lost my grandmother, my great uncle, so few close friends at work, and when you work together every day, you tend to get pretty close with people. And Yeah, it's been I think hearing you say how going to do drag helps you. I feel like now I'm seeing...

...myself do that with work, like just put myself in there and then wanting to be loved all my customers love me because I just want to please everybody. Yeah, little monkey, you want to be hugged, don't you? You you want, you want someone to tell you that you're enough. Exactly the thing that we that you and I both have to do, just as I am, without having to do anything for them. You know what strange capricorn for me, and I'm not saying it's harder or easier. So not only my gay but my job. So you're in. I believe you're in construction. Correct. Yes, okay, so I'm not surprise, though, if you do need your ocean qualifications, make sure to go to in why safety and trait. That's my husband's comes out training. That's awesome, I got it, guy. Give them the good old plug. All right, that's in Wy safety and TRAININGCOM and make sure to get your Oshan certify certifications from from them. Not only are we these monkeys who desperately want to be loved, but we don't necessarily one to be touched. But we desperately do, but we don't, but we do, but we don't. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, not, that's not trusting as a big deal. I was a tattoo artist for ten years. Like. What does that mean? I was a tattoo artist for ten years. Talk about not only being an impath, but then having the opportunity to sit with people under what seemed like a drug serum of truth. The moment that I would touch one arm, stretch out the skin, put the needle into the body, all the sudden we were physically connected. And whether they were gay or straight, I've heard everything and a lot of times that my clients would come in a lot of them were more traumatized than I were. I lived in excuse me, my shop was in a certain part of Brooklyn that edged on severe Orthodox sect of Jewish people here in New York, and those kids had been abused multiple ways and would find themselves at eighteen or nineteen and already gone through three or four rounds of drug or alcohol rehabilitation, psych psychotherapy because they had been in the wrong way, exposed to things, done things to them. That was that was inappropriate, and I was the first person that they had ever met who didn't want that from them. I don't want that from you. I will tease and talk, because that's ginger stick, okay, but I don't I don't want that from you. You know I am. I am the biggest round of people that I seek love and acceptance from are straight men. I love everybody, Capricorn. I don't want everyone to love me, but most of the time in my life has been the straight men in my life who have who have withdrawn the most from me, and it's tough because a little monkey just wants everyone to love them. So, despite all of the horrible things that happen to you as a child, you had your parents come live with you. Did you? Did you forgive? Finally, no, it's the right thing. Where do? It is a passion come from. He could. They could have gone to live with you. Said you had a little brother. Right, they had another son. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. Would not let them live with them. Well, that wouldn't be an option anyway. He wasn't in a space. Remember I was. I was a young teenager when they decided to have another son after my brother died. So there is a big age difference between the two of us. He is eleven years younger than me, so he's just not in the stage of life to be able to do that. So it was funny. We live, excuse me, we live in Rock Wa beach. I am your rock wave queen of Queens, and there's a reason for that. Maybe we talk about that a different time or later on. We found this area and it perplexed me because it was the most California New York City location I'd ever seen. I was actually surprised it's here. And frankly, most New Yorkers do not really know of where I live. They have never been here. Maybe...

...they've heard of it because of the Ramons Song there rock lay, that's right, and that they were from here. Are they least saying about here and performed here and and and everything. That's a real place and I we happen to come here for a couple of reasons. I I was doing those like tough muder things where you would do those incredible fifteen I don't know, I'm making this out, fifteen miles and carrying a truck on your top of your head and you know that kind of silliness. You know you're just like doing all this work. So we had come out to rock away and done one of those things. I was like, what is this? Why am I in California? Look at all those those hipsters over there eating like avocado toast and just being so hipster and just doing all their hipster things and I'm like, I love it. And so we then got a mail or. We were living in Brooklyn at my my husband's father's what his childhood home. They didn't live there anymore. It was just sitting. It was sitting empty. They were going to sell it in a few years. So that's where we were living, barely paying any rents. So thank you to my fatherin law for allowing us to get back up on our feet and live in that, that beautiful home in Brooklyn. We got a mailer for the same place and I said, let's go see these places. Right, these are all two family homes. The best part about it is that we could have never qualified for this home financially if there wasn't a money making way to defer the amount that for the mortgage went. When you live in New York, you can basically say that if you buy A to family it will be rented the moment that you put it on the market on the beach. It's just they bank knows this. So if you're going to charge this much per month, they than deduct that from what you're really going to be paying. It's going to go towards your mortgage so that you get qualified from more blah, Blah Blah. So that was one of the reasons, but it was my beautiful husband who actually said it to me. I I was thinking it, but he came to be. So maybe we should move your parents here. We recently found a pit ball on Easter. This sweet girl was running across the street on our way to Easter with my sister in law. My husband saw her. The boys were in the back seats. That's Malik, who's sixteen, and Wesley, who's nineteen. We parked, look both ways and I ran after the dog. This dog, she has a crushed ear, she's blind in one eye, she's scarred, she's been beaten, she's been being so hard that she's she's she doesn't have one of her eyes. Her ear is the worst case of cauliflower boxer ear I've ever seen. And do you know that sweet dog? She licked me. When I held her, she fell in to my arms. This thing about like people, like Capricorna Myself, is that, no matter what's happened to us, just like this dog, which we've now kept. Her name is Lucy, I make a joke. She does have one eye, and I'm not making light of it, but it is spelled Luci, so she is Lucy with one eye, she's Lucy with one nine. And you know, this sweet girl who had spent probably the first three or four years of her life in prisoned, bread, torn up, beaten. The moment that she found some people to love her, she fell in. And that's what we do. I don't know why. I think some people click. People say that it's human spirit, but it's not just humans. Is this dog who obviously was never ever treated well. Yeah, as he saying, a lot to everybody, and you happy. I can't believe you're here. She fell into my arms and proceeded to kiss me and I held her for the rest of the day. We took her to the vet. He treated her the best he could. It was my neighbor, who is a vet, who treated so sweetly treated her at home. So he's a fantastic vet. I'm very much like those dogs. I am that that beaten monkey. I am that, no matter how much trauma that's happened to some people, we can't help but thinking maybe this time.

I see there was a shift. Boy, I was messed up. You know, I had known just a certain amount of of you asked me about my parents. Don't most of US spend our entire life sometimes trying to get the love and adoration, the the acceptance, especially from a couple of people who never accepted you? You spent so long doing so many things trying to get them to love you, and your hand is continually slapped away and so you tell yourself to lie. Well, maybe if I do this, maybe if I do this, maybe if I take the career my father says I should do. Maybe if I maybe if I played the instrument my mother played in high school, which I did, maybe if I speak the language that my mother did. I became fluent. When I came back from Germany. They had to get me a special teacher at my high school. They literally had to bring on a German national because my German teacher couldn't teach a fifth level German class. I was going to be damn sure that I could speak fluent German when I came back to my mother would have proved. I didn't speak English in Germany. I spoke German and in about three or four weeks I'd become fairly fluent but I also knew I was severely gay. I May I severely severely, I mean like F gay. I was. I knew it. I knew that. What hair color were we wearing? Are we actually doing this today? Okay, we're. Are You doing that way? Yes, there she is. Yeah, why not? Well, sure, will be done at like four in the morning and then then, capricorn, could just, you know, drink a cup of coffee and go to work. Sure we're going to get this done. This is in part therapeutic, because I don't know if you feel the same way, and you don't have to, but intrinsically, the moment I spoke to you, which I I knew you and I knew I'd be okay, falling in that. Just fall in with her. That's just that's just fall in. I recently did a yahoocom documentary which should be out in June or July. They're called in the know. They have a huge amount of content at in the know and they have a section concentrating on drag entertainers in particular, and they've interviewed amazing entertainers that you may know frompul's drag race, along with a lot of my New York's Queen's, my sisters that I know personally, who I'll be either performing with or who have already performed with. I didn't give them this level of access. I didn't, I don't. I didn't know them. I felt like I know you and whether or not is because you coerged me with this large, Phallic microphone or not, that might have been buck might have been the reason why I felt safe in your arms tonight. So I mean could. Don't get excited. There's no similarities to buck. I'm just well, that's not true. I'm very grateful that Jesse's got the MIC. I can't even be serious. I'm very grateful that you trusted be in, trusted us with your story. I've I'm part of your community. I've felt a connection with you from day one when I saw you online, and a human connection, human to human. I immediately fell in love with you in so many different ways. You know, whether it's that monkey that's trying to give everybody else love to get love back. I'm just so grateful you did turn to an online community and so grateful that you weren't scared to share yourself, the good, the badly ugly, with your community. Hey, you spent too long in literally being locked away or in the closet. You do one of two things. I think a lot of my contemporaries, at least older contemporaries, oftentimes hide themselves away in, and this is a terrible term, but in like, primarily gay neighborhoods. And I have no please take no offense to this. If you do live in the cash row, if you live in Boystown, if you live in Provs town, if you live in a primarily gay community in PT Lauderdale, my Ami, Los Angeles, that's fantastic,...

...and I'm not saying something negative against you, because I understand you and why you want to live and almost exclusively Lgbtq, I a friendly neighborhood, because you've spent so long around so many other people who have not accepted you that the only comfort that you could find is to go to your own community and live with them, and that's valid and that's safe. Safe, I mean safety. But I don't know why I grew up. I grew up wanting the love of everybody. I think it's because I think it's because of my parents in particular, and the the the lack of love I received from my other relatives. That really made me want to seek out the love of everybody. I've never had the the want or desire to live in an exclusive, exclusively gay neighborhood or city or portion of the city, because, you know what, I love old people, I love young people, I want to see babies, I want to see round people, I want to see black people, I want to eat Indian food and I want to watch tie dancing and I want I want to be around people who do things better than I do. I want a shared experience and not it's an exclusive experience. Even though it's funny, I oftentimeze my self, find myself. There's a mirror right here looking at myself and I look at myself over here to make sure that it's okay. I'm actually giving myself permission at times to actually say some stuff like do you want to say this? Yeah, I love everybody. And when I enter a room or I have a show, it's very important for me to make Bob from Columbus Ohio with his wife and his two lovely daughters and to somehow shift Bob's perception because, doll I'm just an actor, I'm just an entertainer. I'm here to make you feel good about yourself. That's who I am and the biggest compliment I can get outside of my amazing female audience, outside of my wonderful Lgbtqi a family, is after the show to have bob say, you know what, I loved it, and you see this shift. At the same time, I am not here to be your teacher. I'm tired of that. I'm not here to be an example because I don't know what the Hell I'm doing. I know that I'm a good person, but I have spent way too long in this lifetime trying to explain it to you, Bob. So you need to buck up and learn this for yourself and if I can at least do it in an indirect way through laughter and entertainment, then I don't feel like I'm being put on the spot and trying to represent the entire spectrum of queerness. I'm not here to represent anybody but this, this person right here in this chair. I'm not here to be your representative and I'm certain not here to change your mind. You're supposed to change your mind, Bob, and if your name is Bob, I love you, but that's I guess that's tonight's Karen's Bob is tonight's and and bless all my friends. Have you ever thought about this? Blessed all my friends who are named Karen. Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry. It's time to change your name and we'll do it together. I will give you a new name. Just just call me. I will give you a fabulous new name, but I don't think that you can whatever, we'll call him something else. But all my all my good friends who are called Karen, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Can you imagine that they started calling them gingers? Well, will shit, I mean that that already happened. That already happens, especially in England, being called a ginger. It is such a derogatory thing for a while, and that is that is part of the reason why I took back some of the I took back some of the the negativity of the word ginger. Being redhead, being ginger somehow that you're the devil's child. Give me a like. You...

...have red hair. Okay, that's that's it. And then is the lad. So where did the lad come from? So sorry, Y'all, I'm going to get really commercial with you here. You want to see the background. I told you it's going to tell you some stuff that you never thought about before, and this is one of the things I thought about. So I knew you're going to ask that question, even though we never discussed it before. Henry did that now, but I knew that you would ask so I sat down with a notebook and I wrote down all the alternatives and the very first thing I did is to make sure that the RL, the Instagram, the Tick Tock, the twitter, the dot a, deep adopted Dabad were all available. All were except one. Okay, the URL. Cute. I literally have a nine lettercom that's pretty amazing. That didn't cost a thousand dollars, because no one ever thought of this before. Right. Can I get it in the first ten letters of the alphabet, so that when I'm listed in my profession, will it be through the A, through the Geez? That's where I went with it. Second then, can I make a tongue in cheap joke that is not perverse? Can there be something that sticks in people's mind and it's a smart joke? Ginger, lad, Cheryl, lad ginger from Gilligan's island, redhead boy, you can read it in so many ways and yet it's is not perverse. It's not like tits mcghee or something like that. You know, it's not like, you know, busty Malone's. It's it's, it's ginger lad and I think that eat evokes a certain sort of expectation of entertainer. There's a certain amount of tongue in cheek, but it's one of those beautiful female names that evokes a certain style and it evokes a certain decade reference. I don't know a lot of people called Ginger. I don't even know if I've met someone named Ginger personally before. It's like one of these common names that is not common at all. It's not common, but it's so it's sticks in your mind. It's like it's like a name like Dolly or ginger or Josha. You know it's a female Pronoun Name, but you've never met anyone with the name and so it stands out. So what could be a nine letter name within the first ten characters of the alphabet? That all the URL's, twitter, instagram, everything is already still there, still exists at this time. Pluston gives a certain reference to a time and history that you are evoking with your drag. So I Harken back to those gorgeous women like my mother from the S. I think of Cheryl Ladd, I think of Farah Faw said, I think of swelling ewen from Dallas. I think about those big shoulder pads and bigger hair and makeup and gorgeous hair and Maxi dresses showing, showing cleansandhige but never giving too much away. Even that most famous swimsuit poster of the most iconic Charlie's angels of all time that Cheryl ladd replaced in season two. It's still wasn't it wasn't lude. There was something friendly about that fairy Fawcett Fawcett poster that still evoked you to come in. It was okay, it was okay, and so that's what that's where I wanted to go with my drag. I wanted to go to a place where it wouldn't deny sexuality, but it also wouldn't go to a lude, dirty place. So that that's why I came up with the name. It's just seemed to fit and it's funny. I own those assets years before I came out in drag again, because I had come out and dragged before. She just never had a name. I never really named her. I was too ashamed of her. We take a place. Hey, hey, instagram, by the way, do you see this up here? Do you see it? It's a little pull down. Just click it, just just do it for me. Followed these beautiful people. All right, and I have a specially requested that you can't see on the laptop. Oftentimes capricorn is sending different directions and typing things on the side. Here he says, slide into my dms. So do us both the favor. I don't really want you to to get the host angry. Slide into the DM's of sex, lies and parenthood. Show them what you got. Show them when they they accept everything and anything. Okay, well, I keep it cute and keep it legal, but otherwise it says here in the...

...notes basically, men and women. Yes, and so for all of you, all of you, capricorn is looking for it all DMS. Your email will add them to our launch list and they will get to see the full episode. We're about to get super hot and fleshy and and girthy and just messy, but we're going to do it off camera, so make sure to follow them if you want to see what happens next. Thank you so much for following all of us. I'm gonna say a do to you first so that I could just say goodbye to everybody really quick on Instagram, and then we're going to take a five minute break and now and then we're going to start the podcast. HAH, all of you. I do want to tell you thank you for the follows and I'm sorry this guy a little bit of Modelin kind of like sadness this evening, but I think it's important to show every side of us, all the bs that you see online and people are showing their perfect vacation pictures. It's bullshit. You know that. It's absolute bullshit. People have ups and downs. You know a lot of people. Here's one last thing I thought. People will tell you, oh, come on, buck up, cheer up, it could be worse. You know what that does? That denies us our personal feelings of what we've been through. Because, baby, you don't know what happened in my lifetime. You do now know a little bit more what's happened to me. So show people some grace, show people some love, in your life and make sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast APP two sex lies and parenthood. That's sex lies and parenthood. And while you're at it, why don't you go to dear ginger lad virtual advice on virtually everything now available, thing on itunes and on spotify and Google play and serious FM and all of them. All right, just want just do it, just do it. I forget all of this. It'll be at Ginger ladcom all right. So I'll see you on a few I'm going to log you. You you say goodbye on Instagram and then we'll start in a bed. Okay, by y'all. That was part one with Ginger Lad. Part two is with ginger herself. It's a little spicy, a little spicy. Make sure you check it out on Youtube. I think it's the best place to watch it, just because it's such a visual thing. If you're listening, thanks for listening. Thank you. Enjoy.

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