Sex, Lies & Parenthood
Sex, Lies & Parenthood

Episode · 1 year ago

EPISODE 33: SHE WON’T DO THAT?!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode we had so much fun talking to Intimacy Coach Kristie Lynn. From the Yes, No, Maybe list of what we would and would not do in the bedroom (wait until you see Capricorn’s list OMG) to fun toys, some with remote controls. I learned A LOT about my husband, things I feel … Continue reading EPISODE 33: SHE WON’T DO THAT?! →

Hey, everybody, welcome to sex, lies and parenthood with me, producer Rachel, and my husband, Capricorn. We have a very special guest today. Her name is Christy Lynn. She is a passion coach, right. Can you explain to us what you do, Christie, and then what is your website, in case people want to get in touch with you? Solutely, and thank you for having me. Right to Apricorn, like so excited. Thanks for thanks for doing this. I know it's going to be a shit show, Christie. That's the fun part, right eactly, just she you know what, we're all parents. We know the shit shows. Right exactly. I may have to escape for a minute to get one of those back upstairs. Yeah, and they try to sneak downstairs. It's going to be great when we're talking about DILDOS. Speaking of Dildos, tell everybody what you do. Yes, so, I am a sex educator. I am power and educate and support women through their journey of self love to help create and maintain fulfilling relationships, and my area of expertise started fourteen years ago as a central product consultant. When I started in that industry, it really gave me the depth of the knowledge, the Education to start educating other women about their bodies, about their sex lives and helping them with relationships. And fast forward. You know, I was helping thousands of women, but there was just something missing, like I wanted to do more and I wanted to kind of not be in the party setting, because I was doing in home parties right, where I was showcasing spat products, you know, back and body for play items, massage items and then the vibrating stuff, right, the fund right, but we're going to be talking about right, laundree, all that stuff, which I still do. But I wanted more because in my consultation rooms, because we did like confidential consultations after the demonstrations, and I was seeing just so many women struggling with their relationships and trying to get the spark back, especially MOMS, right, and and you and I know, and right, you know as parents like it is. It is tough, it is hard. Yeah, and and so I ended up getting certified as a life coach to help women primarily really get their relationships back on track, take it off the back burner, because that's where it goes when you have kids. Right, yourself, you and your partner, your last, you put your kids first. MMM. So that's what I've been doing, helping women to reprioritize their relationships with themselves and their partners. They could be better mom's, better women for their spouses, for their kids, for their family as a lot change in the fourteen years since you started doing this, not just toy wise, but also relationship wise. Are there themes, or is it just Eban flow for everybody? You know what it I think it it's the coming of ages, right. So, I started this venture in my s, you know, and you think you know everything. You night. Yeah, I'm so adventurous. Oh yeah, they're like, wait, what an adult bow and I can have sex when I watch. Yeah, and then it's like you hit thirty and you're like wait, now I know what these women are talking about. Like Yas, there is no more like Whoohoo, your sexy, your single and trying to mingle and know that it's like I can't, I can't stay out till six am anymore. You know, though, no more walka shames. No, and it's it's kind of like this alter ego. You go from being like single woman, single man, right to wife, husband, to mother, and it's like you lose your identity? Yeah, almost, you know, you forget who you were, you forget about that fun person and I'm trying to bring that back right for for the women who work with me and come into my consultation rooms. So a lot has changed and I think it's just we a BOT right. Yeah, we evolve as we get older, as we get wiser, and we stopped thinking that we know everything and except that we don't. Are People more open to just talking about sex now? I mean even the title of our show sex, sizes and parenthood. People are like, Oh my God, sex. It's like it's just sex. Everybody's having it, like or hoped or wants to have it or wants to be good at it and wants to have good sex. So it's just something that everybody talks about and I don't think it's as shocking anymore. I are. I hope it's not. I...

...hope people could be more. I just out it. I just explain to people, like if you're if you're older, married and have kids, you know that when you're married, sex is out the door. There's a ton of lies going on in parenthood. Socks. Yes, so had the name. So for how we came up with it, but that's how I tell it to people. We both had starter marriages and then we're essentially single having sex with other people, and then when we met each other we just wanted to be booty calls. But he was the best sex I had ever had. So for me I was climbing the orgasm ladder. Okay, had probably had a few here and they're like a little ones. But when I when he and I met, I understood what like mind blowing orgasms were. Literally. I know we did SIS interview a little bit ago with a woman who we discussed all about the clitterist for an hour. We talked about what because it's such a fascinating thing that a lot of women avoid, and I'm like, so that's how you can have mind blowing orgasms, understand your glit. So we started hot and heavy, right and then when you but then and then all of a sudden, that was like it wasn't fun, it wasn't enjoyable and I got married and had children. We got married, had children and then it was and I'm a giver and I liked the I guess enjoying it or I get enjoyment out of pleasuring her and I wasn't getting I wasn't feeling like she was being pleasured. So it was like a turnoff to me because I'm like, I don't you know, don't do it because you think you have to because you're my wife, but just like, if you're not into it, then I'm at it all downstairs and take care of myself. I don't think, and I don't think it wasn't that I wasn't into it. I just think when you have kids and there that young you just get numb to like that feeling of pleasure and sensuality. You just yeah, it's so true. Definite. There are. You know, our minds are the connection to our body. So if we're thinking about over the kids going to get out of bed, you know, are the is the dish full of sink? Is the sink ful of dishes still, you know? And Yeah, rite is the laundry basket empty? If we have all of these things on our mind. So in order for us to focus on being present with our partner, being present like with our body and being able to feel good, we have to basically do a brain dom and clear our mind, because our mind is part of what they call the Sexual Response Cycle, where you are going to be reactive, you know, to what's going on in your head and if it's and if it's not cleared, if it's not ready to relax and feel all of those great feelings, you're not going to get anywhere. So No, when, when, Capricorn, Trona, please you. And and your mind is full of Right, oh my God, or the kids going to walk in on us? Did I pack the lunches? Didn't bide it? You know, it's it's not happening right. Your mind and body needs to be connected. And you know we're in such a you were talking before about like how sex is taboo right, or the conversations like and how has that evolved? You know, I still see the stigmas out there. I still see it, not so much in my with my clients or in my consultation rooms or in my one on one coaching with women, but I see it our society. We're sex obsessed, but talking about sex right still to this day, is is taboo right, and it things like this, like your podcast, you know, the work that like I'm doing on Instagram and other great people are doing to really normalize these conversations exactly we need to take it further and you're doing an awesome job. So for trying. Yeah, no, you are. You are, sir. With our relationship ebb and flow right to the kids got a little older, we've reconnected, we're going into our second half of our lives, we like to say, right the new beginning, the new beginning, and I feel like, okay, how do we take it from here? We've been together for thirteen years. He's been very open, has had way more sexual experiences than I have. Why do we do now? To Keep it interesting? What do we do? So I I always give this resource to my clients. I have something called a yes, no, maybe lest so we did that. Yes, yes, so that wor a lot of a lot of couples that come...

...my way. They have grown up in either homes that didn't have healthy relationships and didn't teach them like, how to communicate openly. And you know, sex is the hardest thing to communicate about because of all the taboos surrounding it, and especially if you grew up in a home where sex wasn't talked about out you know your parents and talk to you about the birds and the bees. They were uncomfortable conversation so I always give my clients this option because it opens doors to communicate and have fun with each other and see, like, you know, it might be hard to say, so be you know, what do you want to do in the bedroom? Like some people can't say that. I can you. You might be able to, but some people just they it's uncomfortable for them. So this is a tool where you can print it out, give it to your partner, you can have a copy, they can have a copy. You can circle like things you're interested in, things you aren't. You can write down what your maybees are, what you're absolutely not items are, and then the things you want to try and you can kind of see what each other wants to do and and then we're gonna like brings, you know, excitement, because then it's the anticipation of Oh, we I didn't know you wanted to try that. Let's and that's what makes me feel weird. Is that a child. And that's what made me feel weird is I thought, like shouldn't I already know these things about him, or like shouldn't we have had this conversation? I was kind of shocked that. It was like wow, you've never actually discussed certain things in here. And Wow, I knew that was gonna happen sooner or later, which that it doesn't matter her. So like for me, it's funny because I started filling this out and I'm like, it's so off balance, because it's because yeses I have. It'll take you less time to say the nose I have. I have two nose and one maybe, wow, and the rest are yeses. Here, fild it up. I'm very open. Okay, if you're watching us, on you. So I ran out a room. I ran out of room in the yes column. Oh my goodness, see, I want that dough because Rachel, that's like your that's your perfect partner. He'll do any he'll do anything. Well, I do have to absolute. Well, absolute nose. Well, yeah, one absolute. So if the other ones and no, the other ones like, I'll punch you in the eyeball. No flogging, he said, and no strap ONS, which we agree with that. So that's good. Yeah, sorry, I'm no, but do you want us to my nose? And there's something in my nose that you're surprised about, because I I haven't seen her answers yet. Yeah, no, maybe this is exciting. See and and you know, we don't have to focus on the nose. Let's focus on those awesome yeses. Right, a lot of yeses. I like it. Most of what I picks for yes is generic enough, I think. Hold on. But so you who said no to lap dancing, I'm not going to give you a lap dance. I'll give you a lap dance. You can give me stripping. Look, I put maybe stripping. Maybe you've asked me to lap dance for you and Strip. I'm not gonna do it. You can do that all you want. Oh, like fighting, I put as a no because for some reason now as I'm older, I just like certain things. I just don't like it, and that's a lottery way. I looked up online and I think I thought it was something different, but I don't. Oh, don't know if I maybe I answered yes to something and I looked it up again because I was like, why did he say Yes to water play? And I think it's having sex in like a hot tub or a pool, right, yeah, exactly. Or I know, we're even like bringing toys into the shower. Shower, yes, what not? You think? What did you think water play was? I'll tell you. No, yeah, no, say it. I Google. Come on, don't, don't leave our fans or her hanging. Come on, and by the way, for for your fans, if they want to access this list, they can go to Christy Lynn coachingcom. It's Krstie Lynn coachingcom and if they scroll down to the bottom of the page, it's the communication tools every couple needs and they could download it for free. Aweso, when I had originally looked it up and now I can't find it, it was something about men on the DL basically going having sex with men but then going back to their...

...wife, and she said it makes sense. I understand what water play is. I still don't want to do it in the hot tub, though. Okay, all right, cross that off. Well, it's no. That's her, though. I know. Well, I didn't say no, so that could still happen for me. Okay, let's concentrate on the maybe's, because I think is the yeses are obvious, but hot wax wait caressing correctly to maybe maybe, because I don't really go into correct it. I don't write into light. So here's a problem here. Here's a problem that she's she's a very, very, very lasy lover. I'd like to get to the point. No, it's just there's no there's no recification. Like I do all the work. He likes extended for play. Okay, I like just to get to the FFING, but I also like to take it slow. Sometimes one we're doing the FFING. I now quite now. Question, question for Rachel. Were you always like that, where you always like the quick lover? I was. I'm like this with everything in my life. Get it. It's like let's do it, let's get it done. You know my body, you know how to make me orgasm like ABC Equals D I get in there too quickly. So she's like, Oh, I know, you can get me there in like five seconds. What's the point? I can go finish laundry dishes or do nothing. So for me it's like you got yours, but you know he's like to play more. So it's a I'm not a warman, done kind of guy. It's a character flaw. So now I'm from I'm just getting started and she's done. I'm like wait, we just got warmed up. So, Rachel, we got to figure out how to help you relax. Yeah, no, I don't walk with it. I'm a trying that right. Try. It was so bad that she doesn't relax at certain things, that I actually have to go out and dance with other women and have fun because she's not relaxed at all. And I'm like well, and she'll stand back and she'll point out girls like oh, go dance with her, go dance with her, and Sha shall come on, take pictures of it. I put dancing as a yes, but not necessarily for me, like if we went ball room dancing or something, or like learning to salt. Okay. So that's a guess for dancing. Okay, there's no excuse, no need to He's gonna take this list out with him to the club. Anybody, anybody. But I think like hot wax is something we can do. Foot play. I'd have to see what that means. She's cute feet, so it's like, you know, I like rubbing your feet. It's okay. So, Dud. Did you think that we should have had a conversation about some of these things prior to like thirteen years of being together? Or No, because my guesses are more I'm just open. So right, it's not something I crave and I like, Oh my God, give me Nimple, the the poor, anything. Yeah, I'm I don't even like it when you bite my nipples to harder or right. You don't. But yeah, I mean it's not like I don't know. I'm so wasn't shocking to you that there there's certain things I just won't do. No, I'm surprised. There's so many yesses. Oh, that's and then there's a lot of maybe. So the nose are the funny thing is like phone sex. I'm not good at phone sex. I put that as a no. Sex just not it's not cute. But I need to use my imagination. Wait, this wasn't even on the list. I put heart. Will said bondage and I toyed a hardcore beatsm. That's different. What I know. I can add things. You can. We can discuss this. Yes, yeah, bondage is different from VDSM. BE DSM is it's more of who is the dominant. Yeah, but you also have to understand that your taste evolves. So there are things maybe thirteen fourteen years ago on that list that you would have or wouldn't have done then that you perhaps would want to try now, because our taste changes and, you know, to keep things going and keep things spicy, we might want to try, you know, bringing somebody into the bedroom or, you know, going to a strip club or you know, things that that kind of excite you that might not have like for me personally in my s I was not about any of that type of stuff and then it my opinions of all it was like, you know, curiosity. So you just never know. So it's good to revisit this list, you know, even every year, because you might change your mind next year and say, Oh yeah, I'll, I'll do the caressing right, I'm totally into it now, honey, I'll have to check her temperatures. That my wife was that her. I've been...

...working out my John, doing jaw exercises because I'm not great at giving him oral okay, tell what my stresses in my jaw. A lot of people know this. They're ready, and so it hurts a lot to give him oral sex. And I'm trying to like work out my John, do like throw it exercises, so I'm cognizant of it and I think, you know, a plus for me for trying to fix the situation. What do you do when you have a couple and the husband won't give the wife oral or vice versa, and like I need oral to get off a lot of times. What do you do in your facebook that scenario? So we talked about different, different ways that if they're a hundred percent, you know, not into it, there are other ways that we can supplement. For example, say you weren't into giving him oral. Right, we have, you know, masturbation sleeves that we can use where you can only actually, I have one right now. Oh my God, it's the bag of gutties. I want to know this. Lady back, listen, I got a whole. You don't even know. She says it's sitting around, that am ready to go. I'm like, yeah, he's like the interviews almost over. Right, she's got she's got so many strapped her bed right now now. So something like this, like a masturbation sleeve. Right, if if, say, you weren't into giving him oral because you don't like deep roading or you know, you just you're not totally into it. Yeah, but you can do with something like this. Is You'd put lubricant in this. You put lubricant on his penis because you don't want it to Chafe. That right, it's not set food stuck right and right, you'll slide it slide it over the penis and, you know, you would just have like the tip right here where you can kind of use this as your bumper guard, like right, yeah, and your mouth only has to go on the tip and you can use like a nice edible lubricant, like we have a sugar glazed donut lubricant. Teeth amazing, and it's like, you know, nobody, and I I'd tell my clients as all the time, like nobody goes to the store and is asking for a penis flavored ice cream, right. So you want to give it some flavor, so you would essentially, you know, use that lubricant to mask the flavor. If you're not into it right, have to put your mouth on the tip. So we go through a little compromises like that where the couples are more open to be it because they don't know that you can, you know, manipulate it in certain ways and the different ideas that I give them that we can use with different toys and different AIDS, that opens the door to okay, maybe I can try that, and then they try it and they see where it goes from there. So there's definitely, you know, ways we could spice things up without having a compromise. What you're not willing to do? Are you willing to do that? Is that something that you would allow me to do? Let you try it. You'd let me try I liked her first option, but I'll take that. What was my first ABS? She wanted to outside source jobs. I thought that was great. That's another way to do it. Well, we've talked about threesomes before, HMM, and just talking about it actually got us very heated and excited. It was great. Okay, it was great communication to talking about what we wanted with the rules would be etc. We just haven't made it a reality yet. To fold, you can't take it back once you did it, and I don't want to do it with just a normal person. I'd rather hire somebody, HMM, who to do it, and the ones I have very expensive taste. So all the APPS I've got, no as like martgage payments for it. I'm not. I'm not paying that for that. Yeah, as I go find one for free, as like. There's no way. No, and it's good that you're having that discussion because you have to set boundaries right and, like you said, you can't take it back. So, having like your rules, you know, laid out for okay, if we want this to happen, these are my stipulations. That's part of communication and, you know, having such a strong relationship that you could talk about those things, set those boundaries and, you know, not feel fear of rejection or, you know, threatened by right other person may or may not be doing well. That's why I feel like an escort would be easier, but for me. For me, though, I would rather for she brings it up more than I do the three something. So for me I don't want to pay for it because I don't...

...feel like we're going to get the experience that we want and I don't want to random count. She doesn't. Well, her fear of that is they won't leave me alone. But they won't. I already know they won't. He's amazing at what he does. I married the man much. I was like, Nope, you're not going anywhere. You're going to call in there. If they are a sex worker, you know they would probably keep it professional. But I understand what you're saying. You don't. You don't want anyone on your man. The escort would be fine. It's the normal person. If he went out and picked somebody up, and I didn't like that either, because I read more about it. Like finding a Unicorn, right, the single girl that's going to have sex with a couple. Okay, every act that I was like Thrinder, all of it. We're couples looking for a Unicorn. I don't think they exist. Yes, it was. Well, the other thing is to it. I will not let her be another man either. So, like, I mean, if she wants to, she can go ahead and do that and then waking the consequences. It is, but it so for me, I don't want to push her having another woman in bed because I even though I wouldn't turn it down, when kicked her out of bed. You know you're you're probably feeling like guilty because you don't want another man with her. So right, first I what do they call it? Or swinging? No, it's a now I can't think of the word. What do they call it? When double standard? I'm not saying it's like, well, it's a huge double standard and I understand that, but I can't get past that feeling. Right. So I take that feeling and then I understand. Okay, well, then that's how she would feel. So, as a man, you always try to justify it like well, it's different when a man cheats. You know then want to did woman cheats, because you know woman is penetrated, all right, you know. It's like okay, you're being penetrated right. I'm not. So the good thing is fine, washes off. Just talking about it and fantasizing about it was great for us. I liked that a lot and he doesn't pressure me to do anything. I just I know myself right now in this space that if he looks at her certain way or they look at each other for too long, I'll freak the fuck out and I just know. So I'm trying to like, okay, maybe we'll get there one day, just not there right now. I just don't bring it up, and then she'll bring it up. We did in the past like look through websites and stuff together, which was fun, but I just figured, you know, I'm I put it out there like I'm probably never going to happen. But when she wants to talk about it, cool, it's fun and we'll use it as like a flame or something to ignite the flame. Yo, just kind of it gets me excited when she starts talking about it, but in reality I know the fantasy is probably better than the reality. So, so you had a little container of sex toys. I used to have, what, two containers of sex toys. Yeah, I now just rely on a clip vibrator. I don't need anything else. I wish you would be okay with like bringing the toys back. We still have some. We still have some. She's like like, like she said, she's so like right to the point, right, like I know what I want to go. I want to go and play, and she's like, well, I don't need any of that. Just you. And then write. His Penis is fine, it work. Not Fine. Tenus is amazing. I don't want to like Gosh over your Dick. Yes, penis is a mar yeah, and that was like it's fine. Like, man, that's a furt time learning new things now, so I don't my egos deflated. Thank you. I talk about your amazing penis, then you get like, oh, Shih know, but it's I prefer your penis. That's over a giant cock vibrator. How's that? which is which is a good thing. Right, and giant. But I understand what you're saying about the clural vibrators because, and you probably had learned this recently. About seventy nine percent of women actually need that clural stimulation in order to reach an orgasm. So we tend to turn to the clural vibrators, but you can use different types. Like Capricorn can have the remote control of a literal vibrator. I don't know if you've ever tried anything like that, but I know I carry a couple's toy. It's called our...

...little secret and it's basically two toys and one where he would wear a watch. It looks it kind of looks like a fitbit. Okay, watch and and you would wear the vibrating it's like a bullet, but it could sit on the panty line and stimulate the clitterist. Okay, and you could have a lot of fun with that around the house, though not when I'm like no, working. No, you wouldn't just do it around the house. Would do it around the house, like sure, I'm just saying no public, not because no, I'm loud enough in regular nice loud, but messy. It's true. Okay, yeah, it's we wouldn't be able to do that in public. Very serious, I can't see that. I wasn't trying to be dirty yet it's like we're talking about messy on the sheets. Yeah, yes, okay, so, okay. What I do want to buy is a wedge pillow. We've noticed if you put pillows under my pelvis, that's actually a great angle, especially to get to that like g spot, clit orgasm or what we learned, the cove, the Co of re learn all about the cove. Where is the cove? Honey, love the cove. I why? It's the point of the clitoral package or glance. It's the point where they all come together. Yes, well, the cove. That's my new shirt coming out, but we've learned so much. Are you shocked that a lot of women don't know about their clitteris? Yes, I am. Honestly, I mean, and I'd say this all the time, the clearist is only purpose is to give us an orgasm. There's no other purpose exactly, and a lot of women don't know it's it's more than just the the PEA. Yes, it looks like a wishbone. Actually, do you have a thought one the other day too? Oh, did you? Yeah, like it look like a little like guy wish. It look like like Gumby kind of makes me rethink in your basket of toys. There you go. Yeah, that like instead of just you know, that little that, there's a lot whole. I mean that in itself, that's an organ that is a hundred percent. That's or yeah, I mean we the eight, the eight thousand nerve endings that we have in there, triple the size of the penises nerve ending. So that's why we get such intense deep body orgasms. So I know a lot of women can't have an orgasm. I some have experienced that. Do you think it's because they won't or they haven't explored their clitterist, or is there really just some women just can't have that like maximum peak orgasm? So it all depends. There are different factors, one being medications and health conditions that that prevent women from experiencing that type of orgasm. I I know personally in my consultation rooms and through my coaching, I see that women tend to not be educated on how to orgasm and that's where the most of the problem stem from. They're not aware of how to have a g spot orgasm, they're not aware of how to stimulate their clitterists. They've never looked at their vagina or their Volva as a whole in the MIRA. So it's all a matter of education. But it's much more than that. If we dive deep and get into do they have any medical conditions? You know, is is their mind completely blocked from having an orgasm, from experiencing shame and guilt raised in, you know, religious household drama? So it could definitely it runs the gamut. But for the most part I see it's because women don't know their own bodies well. And I yeah, and so I just want wanted to know, like if you haven't been able to experience that, like get seek help, seek professional help, call Christie Christie. When coaching, so in when you're doing a toy party, do you call the toy parties? What are they called? So I'm with I'm with a central product company, but we just call them central product. Okay, yeah, yeah, what is the first thing you introduce? Like do you dring certain things out in a certain order? Like do we do like good better best? We're doing that. That's a great question. And actually I start with because we have a full bath and body SPA line and the...

...reason we have that is because the line has something called pheromones pumped into them and that's our natural attracting hormones that we tend to wash away. We we're constantly like washing our body, showering, especially throughout this pandemic. We have like completely like cleaned ourselves of our natural sense. So in those products are these pheromones that put that hormone back into our bodies that help attract others to us, helps us relax and help us feel more self confident. So the the first things that I show, or actually in the bath and body line, that specifically are formulated to work with your body chemistry to help you to relax, to get in that mindset that you're ready for intercourse and playing in the bedroom. And and I kind of I kind of do it like for play, right. So I bring out the mild items, then I go into massage products, different enhancement creams, and so I do the buildup or right and then I get to the things that go buzz. So I kind of have like an order of what I do, and I also do virtual parties as well. We had to pivot, you know, throughout the pandemic. So I'll tell you that that skyrocketed because everyone was home, right, so what better way to have fun at home than have sex, and they weren't going out spending money on dinners and drinks and you know. So, so they had money to drop and my sex toy sales or like them off the roof. But it was awesome because it was a different way to reach people right all over the country, you know, that might not have been brave enough to step into a party like that. You know. So it really opened a lot of doors, especially, I'm sure, for the men, you know, them bringing this stuff into their bedroom that they had never done before. And one of my clients, she she's I think, fifty six, she had an orgasm for the first time. That's all, oh my gosh. Yeah, and and you know, and I see these stories all the time, like women who never knew that they could have a g spot orgasm. What's squirting was that they could ejaculate. I mean these things. And and when I'm educating at my parties, I always get women coming into my consultation room that are like, I didn't even know this about myself, and they're in their S S even S. would that be tied to depression, you think, you know again, it's not getting that stimulant. Let me because it could be but, like she's saying, could be a number of things. Yeah, depressions. Yeah, hundred percent. It definitely and I always tell them, you know, as we were talking about before, like to see if they need to seek medical, you know, help. But most of the time, again, it's because they don't know their own bodies right and they haven't been taught, because we don't learn this shit in high school. Okay, okay, I'm like, like, we don't learn this stuff in sex. Said, you know, we have. We learn from movies, from porn right, right, from which you know, and half of that's yeah, right, right. So it's like, when you finally get to do these things, one you're doing them wrong. Right, right, exactly. It's all about Selfdiscovery, you know, get that's that's my main thing. Like, if you don't know what you like, right, not homework to do. Get in the bedroom, roll discover yourself and figure out what you like, because if you don't know what you like, you can't tell your partner, know, whoever you're having sex with, that you know, you need to be able to communicate, right, what what your likes are, what your dislikes are. HMM. And and that's you know part of what the Yes, no, maybe, lips list help lips edit that. I like it. Oh yeah, leave it in there. It's so funny at at my parties, you know, when I sell edible products, I always explain that they're good for these lips, but not the lips down there, like certain ones. Right. So, euphemism, but it's up to you to know, you know your own body and what you like and to be able to communicate that. That's like. Once you're able to do that and talk about sex and communicate about your wants, your needs, you communicate about anything in your right yeah, so, what is your favorite toy and what do you sell the most of? Good question and...

I'm like, I'm like looking at my bag. What's so? My favorite toy is this toy right here. Okay, this and you probably yeah, there you go. I can see. This is called the main attraction and it is a dual stimulation toy, where it has two different motors that control the clural stimulator on one side and then the shaft on the other. But this, but this particular toy, was actually made by a woman, whereas most toys are made by men. Okay, and the you can tell a woman made this because of the shape of it. So you're probably wondering in the shaft, for those who are listening, the thinner portion of this shaft is down at the bottom, like almost at the base of the toy, and and the top is more of a thick like bulb. Yeah, like shape. Yeah, and the reason for that is when women are about to orgasm and they can track their pelvic muscles, they're actually pushing out, like if we were have an intercourse, you know, with with your guy, right, we're actually pushing out their penis. Yeah, they're this particular toy because of the thinness on the bottom of this shaft, are pelvic muscles actually pull it in it us. So it actually helps create this really intense full body orgasm because you're not pushing it out and it's almost giving you that like double orgasmic experience. HMM. And then at the same time it has the clural stimulator and you can control these different differently. So if, like, you didn't need so much vibration here, but you needed on the clural stimulator, you can do so vice versa. My favorite and I sell these. These are my you know, for my women. I sell mostly these because I love it so much, and they can tell right, but I also love let me sing. I have it and I saw this on one of your lists. I don't remember who said no chee, but items like these, see rings. Okay, these are great couples toys and I'm going to explain why. First of all, the ring actually constricts blood flow in the shaft of the Penis to keep it erect for longer. So so of your partner does have like issues in that area, which is common, so they don't need to like feel, you know, bad about it. Right, bad about it exactly. But what this does is it helps constrict the blood flow in the shaft, so it'll keep him harder for longer. But it's also vibrating at the same time, so the vibration carries through the shaft of his penis. So it actually when you're when he's penetrating you, it feels like a vibrator. So you turned his penis into a vibrator. HMM. And then this portion is like a clural stimulator, so you're getting the penetration, you're getting the clural stimulator on the top and it's it's giving you the orgasm that you need. Literally the internal stimulation and it's helping him go for longer. So it's like a triple tripeecta of of awesome sex play. So that's that's what I love to recommend to my clients who are like looking to spice things up and, you know, get get something different going. I was the one that said no, only because the cockerrings that I seed, and we've had before, that vibrator for the click is way too small. So if I going in and out like it's like there's the vibrator, like I just need constant vibration, but that is so big that I feel like at a third angle. With those, though, which she's talking about, what you normally do is you just you don't pull out, you just stay in and you can okay, that's purple. That's like. Does the Bulbous one like, are you okay with that being so big, or does it make you feel, if I can use it on you, that I don't care? See, that's awesome. That's awesome because a lot of guys, a lot of guys tend to be intimidated by those types of things because they think it's going to replace their penis. Now it's it's all an egotistical thing. It's rights all on their head, like nothing is, nothing is better than the real thing. Obviously right, right. These are just like things to keep things fun. Right, to something different. And if you are a guy that is not as well in doubt as my husband, you should buy toys. You should have an arsenal, toys for for play, because...

...if you want to get her to a certain area and if you want her to swell and more, I were, just Bon't matter as much. Just be good at for play. Yes, get very good at oral because doesn't matter. The size of fingering is like a huge jail. But get to know your partner right, so right, you can't be a free to ask questions. You know, I could care less if you think I'm weird. Why we're laying there and I say, well, do you like this or do you like that? Because most of the time, but when I've done that in the past, the woman's usually shocked, like Oh, you want to know? Yeah, I want to know because I want to give you the best orgasm you've ever had in your life. That's my goal tonight. Oh okay, well, I like this. Can You do absolutely foo done. But that's not the norm. It's not. Yes, right, but I say come second. Right, the guys orgasm comes first, which you know, usually they come first anyway. So if that hat one that I not if when that does happen, because it does happen to all of us, I feel bad. I'm like, listen, that I'm just warming up. I'll take care of you, but then we can keep playing with toys, right, so, right. That's why I like having them available. It's fun. I like them. Do you have the wedge pillow? I'm writing down a list of things we need to buy. I do have a wedge pillow and it's great for positioning. It is it is great for also for, you know, laying flat on your stomach. So if you don't want all of your like belly flat, flop around. Right. Yeah, I ate that so much. I'm like, Oh, that's my foof Ba. Okay, Oh, I have a trick for that. The trick for that is, if you're not going to use like a wedge pillow or even like just fluff up a couple of pillows. But if you're not going to do that, if hobby takes your one arm, holds it behind your back and like hold you up right while he's penetrating you from behind. Yeah, take this hand and you hold whatever is flapping, so it makes you feel less selfconscious. Usually this hand is on my clip vibrator at all times, so I have no hands left it. Don't think like, Oh shit, I think we need to get the wedge pillow. Oh See, that's stuck it up. And this we have a strap underneath the bud that we should probably pull out again. Well, would be yeah, a piece of fabric to go over that belly part and then you can pull that up my butt. We have it. Okay, pull it out. Don't believe me, I see. You know what you also need? You need a vibrator, like a clural vibrator that does that stationary that you don't need to hold right. Is there such a thing? Absolutely, there is. There is not. Yeah, this baby, this baby. So anyways, so this, this part, gets inserted into the vagina, actually all the way around this part, and then this like it just sits. Okay, Nina, right, and this is on your clearist the whole time, and it's fully like flexible and bendable. HMM. And you can also have intercourse with this so he can penetrate I like that. Yeah, now, this is a great, very helpful stimulate me too. Yes, because I'm sure you'd feel a vibration of that. Yep, you would feel the vibration and it's also like pushing up against your g spot to right and vibrating it. And if I do one called this is called twilight mood. whilight mood. Yeah, taking again all all you could find all the information on the website. I have to put a link on our website to you. Yes, and then give everybody your website again, because we're going to wrap up. So, yes, tell everybody how they can find you. Yes, if you go to Christy Lynn coachingcom it's Kr I stie oh I N N coachingcom and we have the different links to where you can shop, where you can schedule a free call with me if you want to have a consultation, to either purchase some twice for yourself or if you need a little bit more help, one on one coaching to get your relationship off the back burner that you know, the kids kind of put it there when they arrive, and we can get you all going and having a fulfilling relationship. Well, I want people to not be scared to reach out. It's okay to communicate about sex. I'm sure you have heard everything, so it's not like you're going to shock Christie. She's heard it all. Just make the make the phone call. It's okay...

...if you feel not okay and you want to take the steps to figure out how to have a sensual experience, even if it's with yourself and not with another human being. Well, I feel anything that you want to be good at you have to practice and research right. So if you want to be good at sex, then practice it, research it, talk to people who talk to hundreds of people. That way you can kind of get a better perspective of what's going on and then you don't feel so isolated, like, Oh my God, I'm the only person who doesn't know that. It's like no, there's most of us don't know that well, and Vaginas and penises come in all shapes and eyses and we're not all the same. So I think a lot of women and men have these comparison issues where it's like, why I don't have that, what's wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with you. Now wrong. Everyone is unique. Like you said, every penis, every vagina, Bolva owners were all were all unique and I've, you know, helped women from, just to give you an idea, age range is eighteen to undred and eighty seven. Wow, that was my oldest client. was an eighty seven year old and I'll never forget it was. It was in my early days and she came into my consultation room and I was intimidated because, you know, you know here I am like. I was like twenty seven, I think at the time, and I'm like like kind of sex, more night. What am I gonna teach you? And I remember she had like ten kids, right, and she was just like an Irish baby maker, I like, that's all she did. And she said to me, I love what you're doing, I love that you're educating women about this, because more women need to know about this. And when an eighty seven year old woman told me that, that was like the game changer. That was when I started taking it, you know, so much more seriously because, yeah, when your twenty is like you're having fun, right, right, selling ways, everything's fine, right, right, everything sexy, right, love it my twentybody. But that that was like the pivotal moment for me when I was like okay, this is like I'm changing lives here. Yeah, this is this is something that I need to take a little bit more seriously. So well, and we've also learned in marriage there is no end to this. Right, it will ebb and flow over and over and over again, and you guys have to decide you're going to grow together are you going to grow apart? And I feel like we make an effort to make sure that we try everything we can possible. Yeah, so, like keep it going right, just being open. That's all it takes. Yeah, now, like, if you're with your partner, I feel how could you be embarrassed talking to him? Like if I had a big pimple on my ass, I'd like, honey, can you come take a look at but yeah, you can't go ask her. Hey, honey, do you like this on your clit or do you not? Right, mean, it's an easy for me, it just seems like an easy question. So for everybody else listening, I just don't be intimidated by it and then be embarrassed because you married this person. You should be able to talk to them about everything and hopefully explore together. HMM, absolutely. Thank you so much for doing this with us. Thank you for the bathing. Oh then, no, thank you for having me. This is great. All right, everybody. Christy Link, coaching. Kristie L Y N then coaching. Right, yeah, what can you name the toys you showed us really quickly, in case people one more time want to know what they are, because I'm taking the oats. Yes, so this fun purple one for all my ladies, is all this purple. Is What? The main attraction? Okay, that what is it called? The managery? That's it, bade the main attraction. Okay, will stimulation toy. Then we had the sea ring, which is called our little secret and it comes with like a little remote control. Also, that kind of looks like a fitbit. Our little secret. So you could get those on my website as well. And the twilight mood was the other toy that I showed. Which one is the couple's toy, where the woman wears it in her painty line in the husband has the fitbit? Is that still called our little secret or yes, it actually comes with two toys. Oh so it's for both. Okay, I could do it back to you. Oh boy, be careful. What pants somewhere? I'm just hoping you're not in your garage with power tools. Oh Lord, like so there's a disclaimer on these products. Don't use power tools well well wearing. Oh my God, thank you so much for doing this. It's...

...been so much fun and hope my good changing lives. That's a Ra aiming to do. That's awesome. No, this was so much fun. Thank you for having me.

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